2022-07-20 - 7:31 p.m.
USA JOBS is not using a log in with gove
It is odd to me that honestly 20 years ago when I was actually in managment roles I was an exceptional leader.
Maybe 30 years ago...
I have been on boards but have not felt like I have had the influence in those spaces that I had when I was in the management roles I had when much younger.
In my recent jobs I started strong but somehow my collaborative style seems to not fit the culture of the spaces. There were just some differences in willingness to review processess and policy and change things.
Folks don't want anything to be more complicated than need be ( I get that!). So in the larger spaces I have this knack for seeing the nonsense overkill, excessive risk management that set up redundant processess
I also ask for information so I can have complete view of the space, issues, and provide a clear gap analysis and troubleshoot.
I am looking at an actual fed job simply as the posting is in a space doing really important valuable work with a mission I wholeheartedly believe in...
IF they like me.
When I was younger I was always really good at that. Honestly co-workers who DISLIKED me at first later really grew to respect me;
My oldest just posted something about getting eye rolls when she did her sqats to improve her circulation when standing in line at a Walmart. The acute awareness of being judged cause acting "Weird" and different, which she HAS to do so she doesn't faint.
I feel like if we were not all remote most of the time I could have had time to work through the difficult personalities of the current space.
I don't like to write about other peoples stuff here too much. Cause never know who could come across it..
and I like all the folks I worked with .... well work with....
There was not much coehesiveness of understanding on how they are to engage me. My immediate boss said she would send me work. When I was engaged last week she said to send it back to her and she would sent to the external client. So I am basically now a "ghost writer"
I am quite OK with that.
Typically when consulting I would have an issued email with the company!
In some cases in the past I was a consulant and it was OBVIOUS as any work sent would have the email of the CONSULTING company and it would be obvious that the person is not an employee.
And as a consulant I don't want to guide the leadership in that particular decision.
doesn't make them LESS inclined to seek my support!
Maybe being a parent actually made me not as strong of a leader as I was when younger! HA HA
That is in a way what it feels like.
CE la vie
Regardless I know I would rock the posting I see.
I am just nervous I don't have recent REFERENCES that would believe that.
I did make it through LOTS Of hoops for an equivalent role somewhere else and then they did the grand bait and switch, I was pissed at the time.
and honestly it had nothing to do with the work I would have been doing. It was cause he honed in on my REFUGEE Services work and honestly he was the kind of dude who likely supports freaking shooting at refugees at the boarder as if they are not only criminal but not even worthy of respecting the lives of.
Honestly that was the vibe I was getting as he honed in on that work of mine. NO he didn't ask about the DOJ support for BIA.,
and it was honestly a "political" viewpoint- a policy differernce.
But when you come across someone who will de-rail your job opportunity with ego because of assumptions that my views will not make me as good at a job as THEIR views-
Anyway.... this is a different agency.
So I want to let go of that whole thing and consider throwing my hat in the ring for this role at this time.
This would be a longer commute than the other job I was in consideration for years ago. They DID make a contingent offer.
THEN I was snarky in a response to the egoist and honesly I got a letter in a few days that they decided NOT to offer me the position.
IT was not surprising, but disappointing.
AND the pay is not that great- honestly.
But the work at this place is valuable and I would be so happy to work somewhere where there is NO misaligment of values.
BUT what I came to vent about is that the USA JOBS site is no longer using the old log ins.
"USAJOBS is using Login.gov to allow you to sign in to your account safely and securely."
THAT JUST STINKS for a couple of reasons.
questions you have to complete--
IS NOT THERE ANYMORE
so have to start over.
so should use my personal email for that-
The drawback is the commute. Although they would relocate. Honestly if they offered me THIS JOB I think I would honestly take them up on that.
YES its also in a place I actually said years ago I really like and would love to live in.
Reasons to apply!
There is much I really like.
IT would mean I could not run my company and that would be odd to have worked so hard then just ditch it...
but honestly if I could land an executive role in an agency that is a great fit that would be worth it to do work that is truly valuable and helps people.
AND honestly gov jobs are some of the best I think for older workers.
I have no issues with that frankly. I might learn a little slower than young folks- but truth be told I often was mastering and then HELPING the younger folks learn how to do things when I worked in the operations spaces I was in.
Funny how I minimized that in the latest role. I wanted more of a leadership role and less hands on operationally. I was trying to keep that firewall and delegation of authority so did not want to be touching deal set up. I wasnted to be APPROVING and ensuring checks and balances!
But they didn't really undersand why I was trying to create that kind of process...
ce la vie.
I think they hired an expensive consulting company who will tell them the SAME Exact things I commented about some of the process improvements saw needed.
I won't gloat. NO...
I had vision
BUT I did not SELL THE IDEA and the path forward.
That is where I fell short in the latest space I worked in.
So trying to figure out how to gain CREDIBILITY
Or rather not LOSE IT
IF I lose it based on WHO I AM there is not much I can do other than MASK who I Am!
But I feel too damn old and the toll is too high to mask.
So if in the end it is that...
If it is that...
and good for them for never having articulated anything thoghtless , rude, or mean.
But it feels like it may have been THE FACTOR.
The government is perhaps the one employer who is NOT abelist, racist and afraid to hire or promote LGBTQ folks.
That is the truth!!
Seriously I have been telling everyone this for years. OUR US OF A govt is the entity that has promoted Civil Rights in society for REAL MORE THAN ANY OTHER.
It took a while. It started with the ancillary not quite gov entities- like Civil Air Patrol that started when the gov itself WAS Sexist and racist. They started so Black pilots and Women Pilots could serve our country.
But the govt did catch on and changes were made in ways that matter.
SURE it is imperfect like everyting touched by humans.
BUT it is still the best damn country in the world protecting our freedoms.
And for me.
SO I have 5 days to get my application in.
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