2022-07-26 - 7:43 a.m.

To continue thoughts on winery friend. Main point was I worry about him and it made me sad a bit to see his struggle.
I apprechiate my friend but it was worrisome to see him NEED that drink due to the hand shaking at 4pm.

Realized likely the few times I was there when he was not obviously actively drinking, he probably was... but I did not see it... or had just before I stopped by... just masked.

I do hope selling the winery is good for his health. I think it will be. I think he was super sad there for recent years after his divorce. Perhaps he should have sold it sooner! Market good for selling now however...

The other thing is I think he NEEDS a project at all times. Keeping busy is important. The winery gave him things to do all the time.

Sigh.. just hope he does OK and doesn't sprial as some alcoholics do WORSE when the things they used to do end. Retirement can mean an earlier death for some truth be told.

Basically he needs a new thing to be his next project. I am sure he gets this! I think that is why he was saying a year ago he wanted to find a new wife and have kids! HA HA NO Lie he was saying he would love to find a young gal and have a couple of kids again and do it all again. But he was talking shit ... like typical...
brainstorming... yet
he was trying to court this beautiful Japanese woman while in Japan (and her mother wisely- you have to embrace the family I think ! HA)

He spent much time with her it seemed-- but he came back alone and I have not heard more of her.
He I think is the steroetypical white American middle aged guy looking for the younger Asian bride.

But hey I won't knock it-

If it works for someone's happiness ( For BOTH OF their happiness of course- even if self centered and narcissistic in the beginning) Well then why not?

I used to just judge those guys.
But hell my brother joked he is one of those guys. (My sister in Law is after all from Vietnam. But he wasn't LOOKING- he just met her and fell in love. His knickname was George Clooney in my family. I also have the sterotype that those dudes looking for the Asian bride are weirdly mysogonistic to a degree so American women are viewed as too independent; Republican Trump Voters; weirdly anti immigraiton yet only want exotic fetishized women? Full of contraditctions... But hey those are MY STEREOTYPES!! )

And hell, remember the knicknames of Henry and June? My beloved at one point? (At least my lover for a time- Henry)
Honestly Henry is a smart, liberal in view of politics guy, who otherwise meets the very WASP stereotype and yes June herself is brown skinned and said she attracts white men who fetishize the "otherness" of thinking different is "exotic"... she attracts the saviours who want to rescue her... and Henry was no different. He's the one who gave me the article on the alcoholic triad and we joked often about NOT wanting to fall into the paradigms of resucer/alcoholic/victim.

Well... Henry is happilly married now ( Thus why I don't write of him as I don't talk to him or correspond other than the FB keeping a "Friend" So we know what is going on in each other's lifes with fondness of friends. But no , I won't talk to him!)

And Henry's wife is one he courted long distance across continents then went to fly to meet and indeed their love blossomed and then he married and they moved back to the states.

So you know; he is HAPPY. She is HAPPY!
They now run a restauant- of the ethnic cusine of her country in a lovely small town in America.

So.. yeah, I think my friends' best chance of health and happiness is to honestly do what makes him happy. Just hope he can get a handle on his drinking to be functional ( if there is such a thing REALLY as a functional alcoholic). But the fear is he is too far advanced with that illness and health problems that it is not likely he could do that with success.. IDK thought
I mean HENRY drinks too...

and he is doing it. YEAH I Think perhaps my friend WILL BE OK.

This ramble was to kill time- as I want to start work at 8AM SHARP. Have a headache. Hydrated and took a covid test ( negative). Don't feel like getting up YET.
I want to start work at 8am sharp to keep track of time exact and crank out the one task before moving onto the rest of my day. Hey at least I did get more work to do. That is good!
I did not have energy to do it late in day yesterday when I got all I needed to complete it.
OH And I really came her to write one thing I almost forgot to mention:

I finally found the CRICKET in my shower and brought the poor creature outside where I deposited it in my front flower bed near the rose bush. There should be lots of food and water for it there. It looks dehydrated with brown on it!

(ok starting work at 8:10 close enough and easy to track exact time!)

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