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2023-06-02 - 8:25 p.m.

Figured out after got to work, as looked at my phone again- I input the work as 7AM to 2PM TOMORROW, not Friday-
so it showed up as one thin line on the top of the day's calendar. A thin line on my phone barely perceptible-
and the larger blocks showing each hour from 7 on showed EMPTY. When something on the schedule those blocks are filled in.

SO that my friends was the 2nd ADHD Moment of the week.

Darn this was a doozy-
Started off the week forgetting about a work call on my agenda. (Shoot it is on the one company issued email. I got a CALL from the CEO direct to ask if I would be on the call!)
I had not yet logged into that computer and was otherwise already occupied- double booked!!

Depending on who you are, the first employee you hire would be distinctly different. I swear once I start making money I think I should find an admin. I am not kidding. It would be an investment that pays for itself.

someone to coordinate all my calendars. A personal assistant to keep me on track and help me show up without messing up my schedule.
I ROCK it when I show up

but yeah I guess when it comes to scheduling I can be flighty.


So worked both healthcare jobs today. One arrived late at after one of my awesome co workers ( I love this gal. Really she is so concientious and really cares about quality care for the folks there. When others slack off she reminds them to do better in effective ways. We all need someone that helps others step up their game in a nice manner, an effective manner, coming from a place of good will. )

It was hot out today but I walked just a short way to a lovely man made lake and found a tree to sit below and took a lovely hour and a half nap this afternoon. Then I read a bit- basically I did not move between jobs but rested! It was too hot to be walking all over town in the SWEATER I had on! HA HA A kinda white knit sweater. Thank God it is white. I happened to have that on when my kind coworker called AGAIN ( She had called, as well as another friend from work a few times!!)

This time I heard the phone which was still plugged in upstairs.

It was so aggrevating to me as last night the LAST thing I did was go check the work schedule! I had THOUGHT I was working and double checked as thought it was weird not on there.
I mean I thought it was on there I remembered. I swear I should have on that occassion TRUSTED my memory.
The actual schedule file that the gal doing the scheduling sends is used with some funky free ware software and so I said NO to the prompt to let it read/write my files on my phone. AH sorry...
So I could not open the original calendar she mailed. I was relying on my transciption of it into my google calendar.

In any case I should have trusted that thought that I had to work. It of course was late last night when checking and I did not find the actual file that is on my computer but just looked at the work calendar. I tried to open the file on my phone but couldn't.

My friend who is staying with me a couple nights had asked if we could have a friend of ours stop by early for breakfast! So that is the crazy thing- I had two guests at 8am and I was making pancakes for us all. My phone was upstairs and I had NO CLUE I really was supposed to be working.

This has happened too often lately were the appointments are not kept track of by me carefully. OR they are just not on myphone calender at all. Which is annoying and strange as I swear when I got the intial hard copy I sat at work and put the days on the calendar and I CHECKED IT TWICE, then the next weekend I CHECKED IT AGAIN

Which is why I recalled I was working the first Friday. I mean I DID KNOW THAT-but sometimes I don't trust my own memory. Its like I read the information before me and trust it EVEN WHEN I KNOW BETTER.

That is the annoying part. Wonder if that is an ADHD thing? A being on the spectrum trait? (Autistic like trait??)

Alternating being paranoid when it makes no sense to and then trusting what see as reality sorta naively at times?

Oh well.. Life goes on.

BUT it was a really stupid approximately $60 mistake.

SIGH-- With traveling this month I am going to work less and earn less ( so I thought).

HOWEVER, in other good news I received a voice mail that my contract will be sent back signed for my services on Monday from one company. The actual text said "I finally got all the approvals and will send the signed contract on Monday."

ZERO negotiation apparently! They just discussed and signed as is. ( I drafted a very fair and clear contract.)

I could have asked for more money per hour than I did , however this is a contract with the very first company that I ever supported in the role I am in now. I mean they were the first I did work akin to a director. I was on their leadership planning meetings every morning for a quick stand up. I was respected and treated with gratitude for my good work.

This goes back a few years now. My NDA is old, non compete (requiring I can not work for the old employer's clients or pitch to them) and nothing in it is relevant anymore- so no conflicts at all with the old employer of me who LIED and actually FIRED ME and part of the so called rationale was that they said this client I was outsourced to support was not happy with my work.

I was not buying it then. I mean they gave me a super nice sending off when I left! It was a zoom party as still in midst of the pandemic lockdown yet they decorated and everyone had pictures or cards held up, they sent me a door dash gift certificate so I could get some treat that day. They went around and folks said nice things with gratitude.

It was so incongruent how the repoire and positive work relationshios I had with that company really were and how my boss SAID it was in her truly bizarre low self esteem moment where she thought the only way to survive was to put others down and ensure no competition for her job.

I think she got fired anyway not long after she fired me!

So this company reached out to me directly.

I mean what greater honor for my business? I gave them a lower rate than other clients ( $20 per hour lower) I suppose as in part I have such GRATITUDE for that gap fill job I had. I did not have all the experience they wanted and needed when I started but I learned so much about my job while in that role.
I just want to work with the awesome team again so left the rate low enough that they can leverage me more heavily without it being too high. I figure no need to be greedy!

I am happy with the rate. I kinda gave them the YOU WERE MY ACTUAL FIRST CLIENT discount.

*Not really first client
*BUT the company that hired me in the senior role and trusted me to handle all their affairs with confidence.
YES I would not have known I could do the job until I was IN IT learning how to do it. And they gave me that opportunity. So I have have such gratitude to them. I also adore their CEO. I mean she is just a force to be reckoned with.

I am sitting her writing from the one part time job. I honestly have never logged into this site from work AT ALL, EVER. I have been too paranoid that someone could monitor traffic on the company network and there would be no priva

OMG I just dozed HA HA For real...even after the nap today... the doze off mid sentence.

I mean when I lack sleep it just messes me up.

I don't do well if I miss sleep.


oh an I have the surgury next Friday and the Pre Op nurse said no coffee or teas or herbal teas or pain killers and other things... for the whole week prior.

I really did overdo it riding the bike too far too quickly after had not been riding in a while.
My left leg has been in pain. I feel like I might have done some damage.

Cause when I walk it hurts. Stiff when get up and pain in the front part of thigh as well as lower calf and left hip hurting. I feel soreness.

So my bestie being here and pulling me out to be social has been such a blessing at this time. I made a new friend ( I really did hit it off with the fellow she wanted me to come by and meet.), and tonight we are all planning another slumber party of crashing at his place.
They are both walking over to pick me up and meet me as I get off work then walking back to his place. He lives about a 15 minute walk away, right in town. I mean it is so fantasic how convienient that is and how he is so welcoming and happy to have she and I stay there.

That is a huge ,huge help to me now.

I am so happy to not have to bike in tomorrow!! I am afraid I should not be biking at all to be honest until this heals, so Lyft will be leveraged more. BUT it is super nice to have our plans to get together tonight. I work at 8AM tomorrow at the other place.

This guy is super smart and very thoughtful and just seems like a very unique rare kind person. I mean he is unique and creative (everyone is unique of course).

He commented as we were singing to Les Mis... "Oh next time you are in town I think we will have to go see a show; I am getting the sense you two both like musical theater."

Oh yeah! I go to see shows ALONE , oh in past have gone with my bestie actually- but I don't want to drag someone along that has no interest. I don't really have the budget to be inviting those who are not worthy! (HA HA But seriously)

I also do like going out alone.
YES there is that- it is very intentional. I like to go to the theater myself. I enjoyed the Kennedy Center subscription when I could afford it as my special Artist's Date myself.

BUT... there is something so nice to know there are friends who ALSO would enjoy going to a show too. I think that is one reason I did enjoy dating the DC guy. He loves good music and he likes good theater. He was enjoyable company for the most part.

BUT there is something very different about this vibe with this guy- I don't know, the ENERGY I mean... like we resonate really well. Just enjoying getting to know him and happy to have this new friendship.
But...there is some chemistry there for sure. I mean that was pretty obvious from get go and that is always fun when that happens. I mean there was not chemistry with DC Guy. It just was not really there for me. I mean with DC guy I found him attractive only after I knew him FOR MONTHS- only after I really started to deepen the friendship and I guess develop trust. The actual friendship is priority for me and that has to be solid and have a foundation I think for me to have interest.
BUT THEN There are some people where there is a kinetic, just visceral thing RIGHT AWAY

I mean Art... something so strong... infuriatingly strong despite not liking some things about his personality.

OMG Talking about resonating.. I just stopped writing to call and chat with the beautiful man who is so dear that I just love and wish had met to have his friendship in my life BEFORE he is about to move! The conservatory trained ridiculously talented designer/fabric artist/ diva ( HA HA)
who I met at the constume party, murder mystery back in Feb was it?

Oh my...just figured out he said "Its been busy but its gonna slow down and I will definately have time to get together...."
then he named the very week I am taking the kids to visit my Dad and family in FL!

Of course.
I told him with intentionality I will visit the place he has been volunteering and spending time , and working- the fun thrift store in town that benefits homeless youth.

OMG I just said "I hope it is really safe to fly to FL...and its just hype that its dangerous to travel there now."
I said my kids are scared.
and I told them I think it is hopefully to call attention to how bad it can get and hope it is not really that crazy
he said he is not sure how much worse it can get
oh no.. I said I mean I hope it is travel without incident
but that I said to my kids- WE ARE GOING as we have to visit grandpa, and can't take for granted he will be with us much longer so we have to prioritze that
and HELL if any of you get arrested for EXISTING as you are I will just go gandbusters in pulling out the media attention

THIS TIME if something were to happen I would be SO PROUD of you

and would not be small and quiet about it.

But is really is just crazy to have to even have these conversations.

I think the bans are more a publicity stunt in a way to call major attention to not ignore the horriffic civil liberties violations in hopes there is NOT enforcement.

I feel like the actual laws passed in FL are token- the wacky governors expression of his views but hope are not actually ENFORCED. It they are then I think some who gave lip service in agreement would hopefully have decency to change their minds- once realize how dangerous the laws are.

Crazy times we are in. BUT I still feel like safe to travel as the intent of passing the laws I think is to make a statement- not actually ACTION BUT INACTION OF IGNORNG NEEDS Of trans people when in need of medical care is absolutely horriffic.

I mean my kid had a $400 for routine blood work denied by insuance based on being a trans person.

That means ANY HEALTHCARE may be denied any trans person JUST BECUASE THEY ARE TRANS.

So a diabetic can be refused insulin BECAUSE THEY ARE TRANS
A hopptial can turn away someone in crisit BECAUSE THEY ARE TRANS
Its unbelieveable how folks don't think of the realtiy of what these bills mean.

I am excited about the family trip to FL. HOWEVER I will also compile a good list of phone numbers. ACLU, GLADD, etc...
Support orgs and legal support aid etc
and be sure those are all in my phone in event there is any reason to need help when there.

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OOPS don't want to appear ghosting anyone, especially Gandalf! - 2023-06-04


Darn, OK wrote too long. WAS going to be on time but recalled forgot to mention the music producer. He should not be omitted!! A crazy talent! - 2023-06-04


Darn off to find my dog on her morning adventure. - 2023-06-04


Oh yeah I think I just fell in love. I mean like that POOF it's magic-AND ADHD Moment of this week SURELY That I can't find my cell phone so temporrily LOST CONTACT with new love. - 2023-06-03


Now my cell phone MIA too - 2023-06-03