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2020-07-14 - 9:25 a.m.

Quick update on the home front as this is important!

No news is good news.

Remarkable peaceful except when filled with chatter and laughter.

It almost feels like a more typical normal home.

Only the rudeness to mother remains, siblings seem to be kinder and all three teens here actually interact and enjoy each others company. Yet there was receptiveness and an actual dialogue in reasonable tone of voice of my teen yesterday when discussing how important it is to learn courtesy, patient listening and lesrn to regulate tone of voice. Felt this child HEARD the message, was Listening to try to understand their affect on others. Progress!!!

The oldest of this group is happy elsewhere and that is good for her to have that space and time for self away from siblings. It is hood for her to set a healthy boundary of not tolerating abuse. She had quite a bit of anger really pronounced in underlying tome and attitude last summer. Residual anger wrlling up from past awful behavior of siblings and other family. She needs this break. She has no idea she could enter a space with siblings and pretty much throw out a match to incite and inflame due to that underlying anger. Then someone would start and old abusive communication pattern that was emerging less and less, triggers less, and some incremental progress at sekf awareness and self regulation. Steps a bit at a time....inch by inch..but improvement. Yet she was not at all forgiving and did alot of blaming due to built up anger and sermed completely unaware! My oldest said I can and have done the same thing at times where inaware of throwing out the igniting match!

Its hard to see ourselves at times. We all have blind spots.

The good news is that all here seem to actuslly be HAPPY.

I feel that the importance of just letting someone BE And HEAL is really important after trauma.

We can learn to do this in our own lives.

Some did not understand my methods of parenting nor ever will. but I am feeling the validation in actual moments of joy and peace in my home not being the anomoly but feeling like the norm, and thus with THREE teens/ young adults in this home!

This is no small thing.

It is everything.

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