2022-08-09 - 11:38 a.m.

One thing honestly about being neurodivergent and having challenges

is that energy level informs what I choose to invest my effort in.

I just decided to take a call from the home warranty company (who's computer system generates an autodialed call from a call center as the payment Aug 5th from my bank did not go through).

I don't want to CANCEL the home warranty yet-

NO I re-purchased one specifically on the promise they cover AC and Heating systems.

Now that JULY has passed ( and the new environmental regs effective July 1 are in place)

ONCE I catch up with the payment AND have a couple hundred dollars for a co pay ( really it should not be more than that! But a neightbor went through their home warranty and said it was $1000.... OK then maybe I do need that much. But I think it was BS as I think the last quote was for them to replace the old crappy freon one for the $200 copay but they gave the quote of purchase of freon at something outragous like $1200?? I have to be recalling something off.. the total was about $1800 for REPAIR That was it... REPAIR of the old crappy system I had. It was ridiculous.)

I Do however want to get finances in order and then call them again.

I just was tending to the old AC. the one my friend gave me from 20 yrs ago. SEER RATING 9.7 HA HA

I bet he had to swap it out not cause it did not work but because it is unsightly and the crappy SEER is not to code anymore and since he WANTS to sell his home and needs an AC in the window he best put the BEST ONE HE HAS in the house.
It just LOOKS better.

The call was a distraction. But dang... I wanted to be polite and let the dude know I will pay as soon as can but it will be a few weeks before cash flow.

He was very kind and forewarned that he would put a note but to be patient with them as I may continue to get calls. HA HA I told him I apprechiated his trying to help folks understand the auto calls! Having worked in collections at one point that one summer I undertand how call centers work.

The poor kind folks who will take any job rather than no work are truly to be treated with respect and not crapppy cause they have no better option at the time!

Trying to collect money for services actually received is not dishonorable work!

So I try to be pleasant and kind to them.

Robots on the other hand get my wrath as I let out frustration on those bots!

A side of me hidden emerges with a vengence. It is VERY Theraputic.

I am so inclined to want to actually pay off some of the medical bills that have come in. The copays add up. I have a loan from ANOTHER family member. The catch 22 is - do I pay those co pays to be sure they are all taken care of OR NOT count on work in the next month ( which I always think is coming-- just days away!!)

IN other words; the cash being sent is not here yet. BUT I AM WRITING as I need to squell any anxiety of unpaid bills. They just freak me out and I swear I am like an OBSESSIVE bill payer once I get paid.

Like I HATE having debt and only let it linger when no choice.

BUT I feel like I need to LET THOSE BILLS SIT

The Dr co pays
the $377 Quest Labs bill which is BS that lab is NOT in the Anthem network.

A PERSON on a call TOLD ME that the bill was rejected as "um... the rejection was based on the diagnosis put by the Dr. for the reason orderin labs. It was "gender dysphoria" And we don't COVER that."

Literally TOLD that Anthem discriminates overly against providing routine care for TRANS folks
Based on identity.

What the fuck?

WE sent a letter appealing the decision citing the VA law against discrimination in healthcare based on gender identity which applies to any STATE contracted healthcare plans and purchased via the healthcare marketplace in VA--- in other words OUR healthcare (OH private health insurers MAY discriminate if contracted through a private entity! That is the kicker. Only those contracted through state for public purchase may not discriminate)

I am so tempted to not keep fighting as it takes such freaking energy. BUT I HAVE TO WRITE AND LITERALLY REMIND MYSELF

DO NOT COMPULSIVELY PAY ALL THE CO PAYS

BANK CASH For next couple of months MORTGAGE.

and spend ONLY on the CRITICAL Need that will have a ROI

Oh yeah I rambled about not updating internet.

WORK EXPENSES FOR BUSINESS IMMEDIATE needs:

Pay phone bill ( the work phone can't get shut off! It is on pause cause that bill too did not go through! ) Pay that first. It is only $28!!

THEN
Get the Security certificate with secure identity so I can access proposals and find work!

OK I Am good... just WILL NOT be dumb and pay shit that can wait without crisis.

SIGH I am writing alot as it is really calming for me. Oh and the main point I started to make- I have to choose what to invest my energy in. Honestly for a $377 bill I feel like having lost the appeal it is going to take SO MUCH ENERGY and time and even money to fight that further. That is the thing. I don't have that much energy and have to pick battles. I have to have energy when working for anyone else to be ON POINT in negotiations. I just don't want to do it when home. I PREFER to sometimes suck it up and just pay the stupid unjust thing as it is so taxing to keep fighting. Regardless of whether find energy to escalate this grievance further... ( I mean the thing is the insurance companies KNOW so few have the resources to keep fighting them! But---- I literally could go to a small claims court. $85 filing fee? Cite the law and seek injunction that they have to follow it? Cease and Desist denial of service based on identity? I would have to procedurally chase down how to do that-- what court , what venue Diversity jurisdiciation for federal ct? look up all the questions It would be a whole big PROJECT Not for the money but to help some other trans person get actual health care. I mean basic freaking blood work denied? Makes me tired just THINKING about what a project it would be! If I had the money I would be inclined to just pay the bill and move on and invest my energy in everything else in front of me just nowell I don't have the money right now,and will try to let it go... not worry about this and pay when I can!

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