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2022-12-19 - 1:53 p.m.

Will and Estates 101

Middle Aged folks who have chronic illness that may impact life expectancy

and older folks

The only way anyone can actually have family wealth is
AS SOON as you are able to with confidence that one of your kids, or a younger sibling ( if you have one substantially younger and healthier than you) OR A Neice of Nephew so be it... ANYONE in your fam

OR heck even your CHOSEN FAM
any loved one

IS IF YOU "Sell" your house and deed it to your kin BEFORE you think you may be in need of serious medical short or long term care which may kick in Medicaid cause you can't work or otherwise afford the care.


That is the #1 Estate Planning TIP my Professor DRILLED INTO US
as he extensively would discuss ESTATE TAXES.

My bestie ( a social worker) and I BOTH laugh as how freaking good we were at that class when so many who went to law school to make money with business degrees DID NOT GET IT.

I mean seriously. It made the Will and Estate professor sad as he said it is the first and best piece of advice he gave clients when in private practice and he wanted to drill into his students

AND the one thing he said statistically (AT least then ) VERY FEW LISTENED TO.

I remember my Mother in Law doing this when she was in her 50s. She was brilliant.

And you know what?

Now you know what else- HER SON WAS/ IS an ALCOHOLIC

and there is no guarantee as a recovering alcoholic/ addict
that he would stay clean.

and I have confidence, as she did that he WILL remain so.

Beacuse maybe she believed in him
and he also had already humbled himself to want to change and turned it over to the Lord
and accepted that AA figured out WHAT WORKS and just submitted to that process without ego.

My first husband then went on to do a bang up job as a parent to our two oldest-

from middle school on.

AND He self taught ( mostly ) programming and data base admin skils. He took a few classes. He never put a degree on his resume...

and you know what
he didn't need a degree but worked his ass off in the way that worked for him to learn the material

CAUSE he did not have the grades for a scholarship and he had debt at the time he could not pay off so he dropped out after a couple years of college. At the time he was trying to work full time and go to school full time AND be a parent to the two little ones and honestly it was the ... OH YEAH

AND Gigging with a band that got hot... so make no mistake it was like THREE full time jobs
I mean no wonder he burnt out

Cause he felt IMPOSTER syndrome

Imposter Syndrome is BULLSHIT

He was fucking brilliant and stellar at everything he was doing

BUT For the fact he had a habit of recreational toking and driking when playing
and quickly the hot bands he played with got booked nearly nightly and the drugs and alcohol freely gifted and he fell into addiction.

Not an uncommon story
BUT the stress of OVERDOING IT

was surely a factor

My mother being I don't even know the words

But she was clearly diplaying fucking racim
and was an asshole to him

She really did not show respect when her fears were all her body language communicated
and her judgement first and foremost
and his own GRANDMOTHER did the same

I love the book by Kendi How to Be an Anti-Racist as he helps understand that yes even BLACK people can absorb systemic racism and be judgemental of their own.

I was stunned when his Grandmother was as judgemental and ANGRY as my mother

BUT Her anger was for different reason- it was cause he dropped out of college and I get it
She worked her ASS OFF to give that opportunity to her daughter and to her grandson and her heart was BROKEN That he did not understand the value of the college educaiton.

SO she thought

I think he DID understand the value but he could not do it when working full time and trying to be present as a Dad in a way Father's were not in her past. He was TRYING

But there was also the not seeing music as viable and a valuable way to make money EVEN WHEN HE WAS PAID RATHER WELL FOR IT!

Well enough for it to help support parts of our lives and frankly the joy of what he was creating in our world made it so absolutely WONDERFUL

I mean it was the happiest time until he got sick and could not hold it all together.

OK but I had ZERO intention of writing all that. Just wanted to capture the thought of how the only apprechiable wealth is really in houses.


Folks ask

Why the hell would X Buy such a lavish huge monstrosity?

Do they REALLY think them beauitful, tasteful???

Likely Not all

BUT the rich KNOW that their HOMESTEAD is protected.

and it can be DEEDed to family.

SO that is the BEST WAY TO PASS ON WEATH Without taxation ( double taxation. Heck they paid taxes on the money earned to buy them. Why should there be any taxes on the HOUSE if it goes to their kids? Their family or whoever they want to give it to ( short of property tax to help support our systems and services for the good of all.)

Now these thoughts came after the siliest of thoughts which I just want to capture as frankly it would be hilarious.

As I came home and before even turn on the computer and check email and go to WORK.
I mean if I go to work I abandon my HOME projects immediately. I WANT TO follow through to COMPLETION the putting away ALL The clean laundry. It's a project. Almost done...
especially large project cause I HAVE TOO MANY DAMN CLOTHES
when I was gathering the dirty laundry to bring discovered the BASKET ( had to empty it to bring it so dumped it to take care of later!) AND Another folded pile of MY clean laundry that was washed on the LAST trip!

YEAH I have way too many clothes.

And in hanging up the clean ones . ( ALL OF THEM... almost done... will do ALL and this task done to COMPLETION before moving on), I realized that

AH SHIT worked called. The guy scheduled did not show up. FUCK

OK quickly...

As was saying I realized I do not currently SEE any of the items of clothing I saw on the show Firefly Lane. Now I swear I have seen literally 5 or 6 ACTUAL items of clothes I owned in my closet as recently as two years ago. I think about then , maybe 3? I cleaned up and purged and got rid of a ton of clothes. I was proud of that! I STILL HAVE TOO MANY

Those were some of my FAVS but I put on a bit of weight and decided I enjoyed them but time to let them be part of my past.

So I had the random thought
What if the costume designer is some rich bitch living right here in this wealthy burg???
and she shopped at my local thrift store when costuming. Maybe it was here she found them not in LA or NY...


I amuse myself.

Now to check my email .

I think if NO OTHER work came in I can cover for them guy who was a no show at the part time job.

Nothing confidential to be delt with in sending the update from meeting I attended. Honestly I can type my notes and send that deliverable even if I go into work that reception desk.

If I can I will help them out.
CAN Sand the ceiling tomorrow.

( because we do not actually prioritize any POORER people or middle class REALLY acquiring wealth in this county.) The whole idea of social mobility is a reach unless kids from parents who did NOT go to college DO go to a college with excellent scholarships

OR folks know about ESTATE PLANNING

and don't MIND if their kids live in the family home. If they don't judge it if their kids don't have to pay mortgages and have life a little easier

WELL then folks CAN leave a family legacy.

Some don't want to.
I respect that.


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