2023-01-19 - 9:23 a.m.

Perfect timing it seems.
I did not get the full time offer I am really not feeling.
But the 2nd client I landed, who has been very slow in giving me work- just a few items to really see my capabilities ( as it is a small company so the volume is not that high)

this AM sent and email titled "CONTRACT TRANSITION" introducing me to the attorney who has been providing her company support.

She was pleased with my work.

And had said in the debrief that she would link me with the attorney whom I am taking the role of support over from. Other good news is that although I slept in he happens to be located in a different time zone! HA So It won't be late in day when I am dressed and in mindset for starting work. Have time for breakfast and getting in the work zone. This is a good fit!
She knows she needs outside counsel for LEGAL MATTERS

She understands the distinction between what I am professionally certified to do and not- but EVEN BETTER
She herself is a Harvard trained attorney. She understands the ROI of using me instead of an attorney for her contracts.

I AM SO GRATEFUL to have found her need and to be able to fill her needs. Freaking smart talented cool lady who has built her business.

AND it looks unlike many others, that she build it by hard work and her own marketing and her own energy and grind. Not by stealing clients like so many .

I mean I have such a problem with that.

The shock for me was I found her on Upwork ( or rather she found me on Upwork). She was the one I was pleased when looked at her PRIOR hires they were at FAIR rates. Not low wage exploitive labor.

Its just important to me I support someone with values.

I also like ( on account of my son thinking this is important) when someone is building a business they try to hire those in their own community to create WEALTH. I mean all do this, so how is it different than nepotism?
Its not
Not really.
But the thing is if they are in a minority community this is important. So as a black business owner it makes me happy to see that when she can find them she seems to hire other black professionals but clearly does not discriminate in hiring the best she can find. But there is actual diversity in her hiring. Not BS Not talking some bullshit talk- but REAL. She has a real cross section of America working for her. The difference is clear to me when I enter a space. There is this historic U.S. history of systemic racism.

Some think BS

Its BS to ignore it I think. Chase fined $31 million for redlining in 2017 to recent years ( 2020 ? 2021? Forget what heard but it was recent)

This is not OLD news
They were found to discriminate against Black and Latino prospective borrowers seeking loans and granting them to white folks only.

This is the same old worn story. The problem is it happens often without even INTENTION. BUT NO MATTER even if not intentional and folks are oblivious to their own biases it still happens! And it has to stop.

It happens when folks are only hiring white folks in those positions of power.

So yeah I admit. after having mixed kids who were raised half their life in the black community by Grandmother and their Black Dad ( who is now a systems database administrator cause he taught himself the skills); I am PLEASED to have found a black owned business to support. I am sick of hitting the moments of racism, even the little tiny iota ( ok losing jobs was not tiny) when I have had that white boss see who my family is. The reaction when they see pics of my kids on my office desk, or hear of them cause they asked. I mean how can I work in a space when if asked about my family where I COULD not mention who my family is? Try to be mysterious and closed? I just have not been that tight lipped and I don't WNAT TO BE. I want to work somewhere where I can be myself. I mean I was in the office and we saw my KID on a commercial for his show and it was a happy moment for me. ( The reveal of him as a BLACK man which was obvious in the role playing and marketing of that show). In my heart I also know it was these things which signaled differences in family culture that made my old bosses ( all white- tiny company very conservative- Catholic and in fact very Republican- the kind who did not want to mask and who made fun of Juneteenth. I mean I was celebrating Juneteenth with amazing drumming and dancing YEARS AGO- and I was among the drummers or the dancers. It was so hurtful and shocking to experience this personal feeling of not being welcomed in that space based on WHO I AM and who my family are. I know it was not about my work. It was about THIER DISCOMFORT at any diversity that they got rid of me.) Then me using 'they" when they asked about my kid- cause my kid uses They and I am just too old for constant code switching. I don't have it in me. That is too damn hard for me... (Or too honest? Too autistic like HA The trait... just the trait of being direct and honest.) I just can't MASK myself and my family for too long and then it seems in in the wrong space I am not welcomed. I know many smart black people who are very capable. And I know many AVG while people honestly who are capable too but just as many who are not particularly special, avg, who ended up much more financially successful than some of the exceptionally bright hard working talented black professionals met. I mean I looked at some of the white young dudes being nurtured for leadership at the one place and wondered "WHY??" I mean it is not explainable by anything other than opportunity and VISION.
White folks have been taught how to create wealth more than minorities.

It is a pretty standard formula. YOU HAVE TO BUILD SOMETHING. Starting with LAND or equity, money and build something that will increase value and be sold.

Real estate
houses
businesses

The monopoly game got it right.

But I think white kids were playing monopoly more than black kids..

So truth be told I am in admiration and pleased to support this BLACK WOMAN from a southern state who started her own business.

She just rocks.

And pleased that email came in this AM. AFTER not getting the last full time job. I keep saying whatever is meant to be will be so open to possibilities.

It has taken her months to get to that point of that email. She had the attorney finishing what he started. I also just straightened out the Upwork payment issue so got paid. *She paid timely- it was the Upwork bank issue that resulted in my company not getting paid from Upwork for a while.

So YEAH! Maybe she will have an increase in work for me and it will ramp up to be what I need. She said about 10 hrs a week estimated but varying based on need. If it is that with consistency that would be great. So far it was only about 10 total after a couple months! Interview- then two full weeks before hear back, then she sent a contract, then one other small project, then on other small contract.... I mean TRICKLING IN... so I was worried this would not be much.

Then also concerned if she suddenly ramps it up and I have taken a full time role then might get overwhelmed and have to REALLY moonlight. I don't want to be up all hours of the night doing work. But if I landed a full time role and then she and the other CEO BOTH have a triage need and send me significant stuff they need help with right away at the SAME TIME
I could see having to pull similar to those college all nighters at the last minute to get it done.

I feel too old for that!!
I can handle a couple hours after 9-5. But not too much.
Which is why I have not been focusing on building more clients and wanted the stability of full time ( economically I will make WAY MORE MONEY if land a full time job with benefits. )

But I don't NEED way more money. I just need ENOUGH.

and I want my rest and health and happiness ( contentment- not needing anything more than quiet and content. Don't need excitement. Just content and peaceful).

So honestly ideally I just actually get steady work and until that happens get all the healthcare needs assessed and taken care of..

Cause then I don't care if the income kicks up and lose that medical benefit if I can afford to buy a decent enough policy to cover the medical needs of kids and I.

I have to cover the one kid at least ( and maybe the 2nd longer term. I think Dad gave a time limit after which dropping the youngest just like he did with the dental insurance. Not sure that kid has it in her to find a full time job with coverage. And the economy is not getting better. We are headed for recession by all measures.)

So at least that email came in today. Encouraging.

I slept in to get rest after the busy weekend and being tired and honestly the asthma attack wiped me out.

So up to get dressed then call that attorney to either CHAT or plan when to chat tomorrow if he is free, to get his insight.

This is the first thing that came in this week. Will be busy today with volunteer work. That is great to do as carving time out for it is so welcome especially on the weeks when no actual PAID work came in! Just so good to get out of the house and do some valuable work that can- whether paid or not- in my own community where I live. I am trying hard to not speak of my kids lives here ( that is their story!) HA. Only in relation to my role of mother and my perspective. So no mention of what that is other than it is the one volunteer thing I do with my kids. Glad we have a thing. One has done it with me a few times and likes it and this is the first time the youngest will be doing it. Hope that she enjoys it too!

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